I thought it would be over by now, but the lunacy of Christmas has infiltrated everything. This year's festivities have been an intense trawl through highs, lows and weirdness. First it was the fancy dress; random members of the duty free staff strutting around in that strange confidence that fancy dress seems to bring. They were dancing and shouting at each other with a kind of sick desperation. The strange thing was that it was only a select few of these people, the rest of the staff had on their usual work clothes and had that uncomfortable aura of looking uncomfortable while trying to seem fun. Needless to say, there was a middle aged dumpy woman dressed as a "sexy" school girl...
Christmas Day itself lasted about an hour, as far as I can tell. I was back at the airport soon after, working a string of early shifts, and surrounded by staff who were desperately trying to keep ahold of a festive atmosphere. Which is great, but my colleagues seem to be unaware of Charles Dickens's message.
But lest I forget: at this time of year we are but children. Mere pups, our eyes gummed together, desperately searching for the teat. How great it is to have guidance, a huge juicy hand picking us up and putting us in front of the breast that has 30% more milk. I mention this because before Christmas our leader succumbed to illness and has been off work (I wish her all the best, of course. A terrible time to be sick).
Good God, I hear you say, How can we maintain!
Well, it's all clicking along nicely. And we have found that mythical teat. We are supping from it in the most glorious of ways. There is more than enough milk to go round, and we are satisfied. Next we are going to be told how to wipe our assholes, and how to piss standing up!
Huzzah! Bring on the new year. We are one step closer to maturity. Thank GOD!
I shall end with two quotes which illuminate this post with more grace and precision than I ever could:
"Nowadays ambition and the love of a job well done are the indelible mark of defeat and of the most mindless submission" - Raoul Vaneigem
"One of the symptoms of the approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important & that to take a holiday would bring all kinds of disaster" - Bertrand Russell
Saturday, December 30, 2006
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2 cries into the ether:
Thanks for some marvellous writing, and here's to lots more teats in the upcoming year.
Enlightening!
I am currently re-editing my CV and filling in job applications. The only thing that commerce degrades more than people is the language. At least the venal street hoodlums display some ingenuity in their slang and they use it for emotional expression rather than reducing it to the mere ticking of boxes by vacuous, shit-sucking cyber-whores.
Christ what a world.
SPL
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